If you really knew your position in the Kingdom of God you wouldn’t be insecure. You would know that you have purpose, value, significance and belonging and you didn’t even do anything to earn it! You don’t have to compete for significance. You have it. You don’t have to prove your value. You just are valuable.  Insecurity lies to you about your identity, and in turn calls God a liar. Insecurity calls into question your worth, and calls into question about what God has already declared true about you. If you live in the reality of your insecurity, you cannot live in the reality of Jesus. By choosing to live in your insecurity, you’re choosing a life separate from God, separate from the truth and the reality of where he lives.

Security is not found in ourselves because we are fallen. It is not found in relationships, because people come and go. It isn’t found in our abilities because our abilities can be taken from us. It isn’t found in “things” because they will deteriorate. Security is only found in relationship to the immovable, unshakable, all powerful creator God. We might find security for a period of time on this earth, but when the object of our security is taken away, we’ll feel more despair than we felt in the first place. Instead we look to heaven for our security. When we pray “Your Kingdom Come” we acknowledge our position to God. We admit that the place where we stand is broken and unsteady and begin moving toward His.

Today I am starting a new series with fifteen quick thoughts on insecurity. I am not a psychologist, or expert in this area, other than the fact that I have dealt with insecurity and the consequences for most of my whole life. I am learning what it means to step out of insecurity in order to live a good story.

1. You are insecure — We live in a fallen world and you cannot escape it. You are fallen. You are not complete. This world will never satisfy you or complete you because you were not made for this world. The good news is that the Kingdom of God is approaching. It hasn’t arrived, but it is breaking in to the reality of where we live right now and becoming our new reality. We are given opportunities every day to step into it. It is a reality where we aren’t insecure, where we are complete, and where we are living out our true purpose. But the only way to step out of our current reality and into the new one, is to admit that those two places are different. You’re insecure. Can you admit it yet?

Special Note: Today I am taking part in a blog series on Prodigal Magazine. You should check out the other articles from a list of incredible bloggers. You can submit you own article there as well. GET AT IT.

It’s no secret that I want to live a good story, and help others live good stories too. I wrote a post on Prodigal last week that detailed what it takes to be a good character in your own story, and I’m committed to doing all of those things. I want something outside of myself, I’m good at engaging conflict to get to my objective, I’m even learning to become okay with my imperfections.

There’s only one thing that keeps threatening to get in the way of my good story. Insecurity.

Insecurity keeps most of us from being good characters in our story. It prevents us from pursuing something outside of ourselves by forcing us to focus on what’s happening inside of us (meeting our need for security). It tell us the lie that we don’t have what it takes to overcome challenges. It convinces us that our imperfections define us.

Insecurity distracts me from my true identity.

Security is a core human need, so it’s no wonder that when I feel insecure, my built-in God-given need for security steals all of my attention. When I get insecure, I try to control people, circumstances and situations — and when things don’t go my way, I get angry. So for me, insecurity looks like anger. But it looks different for everybody.

Either way, weather it’s anger or depression or anxiety, those feelings become all-consuming.

Here are a couple of specific ways insecurity derails my story:

First, it steals any opportunities I have for meaningful relationships.

When I feel insecure, I push people away. It make sense, insecurity hurts really bad, and people just lean on the open wound, so if I’m insecure, and I’m around people, I’ll be hurting. I’m in the first year of marriage and learning that I’m more insecure than I thought I was. My wife might say or do something that hurts my feelings, not because she’s a jerk, but because I’m insecure.

Even though she means well, it hurts, so I push her away.

Second, insecurity lies to me about my identity.

For example, insecurity tells me that my past failures disqualify me to do what I want to do in the future, which keeps me from taking risks and stepping out in faith. I can’t ever live a good story if I’m not willing to take risks, and even to fail at things.

The problem with the inescapable and all-consuming need for security is that there is only one way to meet it. I can’t meet it by controlling people or circumstances. I can’t meet it with a dream job, or with really nice stuff, or money. I can’t even meet it by pulling up my boot straps and “acting” like I feel more secure.

The only way I can feel secure is to anchor my identity in the right place.

What is the thing that hinders you most from living a good story?

The story you write is just as important as who you write it with.

Today I am in North Carolina with my family to celebrate my sister-in-law’s college graduation. I feel incredibly blessed to have such a great family that loves Ally and I and that cares about what is happening in our story.

Community is a core value of my life, and has been for a long time. And family is the core element to good community in your life.

Here are three benefits for inviting community into your story:

1. Increased Perspective

As I have invited Ally into this story with me, I have been able to see myself better.  Her vantage point into my life and my story allows me to see things in a way that I could not.

Any writer will tell you that it is important to have others read over your drafts. They will inevitably see mistakes that you could not.

2. Support

It is harder to live (write) a story alone. End of story.

As a blogger, I have moments where I think I am crazy. Yesterday was one of those moments. My bank account was looking pretty lean. I wanted to quit for about five minutes. My family’s support made me change my mind pretty quick. Support from community around you will keep you going.

3. Diverse Thought

No two people have the same ideas about life. When we put all of our ideas on the table and collaborate you are able to think outside of yourself. Others have the power to make your ideas better, and you to others.

How has community impacted your story? What could you add to this list?